~aRtIc~

Hey , peeps, i no longer post anything here, so if ya wanna or interested to read about my entries, hahaha, go to this webby, http://rubbitez.livejournal.com

Thanks Dumbass

I wonder if it was true, but well, guess it doesn’t matter anymore. I dreamed of you last night, it felt so real, but when i tried to brush my fingers through your hair, i woke up and felt really disappointed. Your smell and your noise still lingers in my nose and ears..  Kinda like my nose and ears are auto-rejecting other sounds and perfumes.. haha~ Gosh.

Oh well, Ooo so i took loads of pictures again, cam-whore"ing" lol! My lappy is full of my pictures. Maybe should put a slide of myself, arhh… probably those who sees it will just turn their heads off and give it a merlion shot! (vomit) okie, thanks for your comment, i appreciated it too!

Yeah i should kick those (there) who tries their luck on the dance floor lol! Poor girls.. Latino dance? no way.  Eee.. turns me completely off. Latino songs, yeah, turns me on!

Its so late and i can’t sleep as usual, reminds me of last year, this time, missing someone who was in Aust for a week. Staying as a good girl and faithful to one person. So what if there is a tray of pple there, it doesn’t interest you man. Because your heart tells you that there is someone else more important for you to think about! HaHa, how funny. Remember turning on this song at home before i got together with you and i was on msn talking to you, "Cater to you". I typed the lyrics to you. I wonder if you felt a thing. I might not be able to cater to you anymore. But i was happy that i could do it at least once in my lifetime. Because that’s the least i can do. Let me cater to you, through the good, the bad, the ups and the downs. I’ll still be here for you, Let me cater to you. Cause you’re beautiful. I love the way you are (even your bad temper). Fulfill your every desire, your wish is my command, I want to cater to my man. So pure your love shines through and the darkness we’ll get through, so much of me is you and i want to cater to you.

Oh well. Let me sleep well and not think so much. hahaha! okie, i’m so excited about everything .. don’t know why.. Looking forward to the next one. Oh dear. I can’t stop playing the song "We ride" hahahha and "Riding" and also "i wanna fuck you" all these songs just turns me on. YEah i recalled the other night , in phuture and mos, i heard the song i just mentioned, "i wanna fuck you" by Akon, I became cranky, hahah started grinding sarah, bunz, and nat, Not RAY hahahhah! In, phuture, i wanted to grind anyone i could grab when i heard the song, hahahahh just kidding, was dancing in a circle, i just feel that this song is god damn sexy. Ooo okie, so i got the photo that was taken by whosgoing.sg at St. James, the photographer was great. And at St james, the music was great, the company was great. But when me and my two other girls got grabbed, the other three tried to look lost, arhhh! okie. Conclusion, it was great!

But still, i thought of you. 爱到才知痛

Wooo.. alright, just woke up.. so tired. Had a great deal of fun! and great.. everyone of us were wearing a dress! You know what, i miss you girls. And the best thing is all of us are the still the same, except for some minor changes here and there! All of us look great man! But.. Now.. no pictures yet! hahah want to see mine? hmmm okie i’m going to show it!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Okie, do i look like a girl now? hehehe, right, cos i’m soooo boyish.. okie. shall update more soon!

Hehe, yeah i cooked, can you believe it? heheh!! I whipped up meatballs, alfredo pasta, tempura, and soup! okie Soup cooked by ray and nat and hazel.. Sarah Sarah , was looking at my fridge hahahaha!!!!! Looking for beer? yeah i have loads of them , plus red wine, coke with a lime, wheat grass, green tea and root beer! lol

I’m glad you guys love it! We shall meet up soon okie? Majong soon? hahahah i haven’t win you peeps’ money!! LOL

I’m going to try different recipes haha.. OKie. who tried my cooking before? okie if you are lucky, you will be the next one! only a few peeps tried! haahahah I’m glad you pple appreciated it! I’m very happy! Cool! Ready to make a good wifey! LOL just kidding!

Wooo.. tired.. Aunt’s leaving for business trip.. aiyoo doing housework sucks man. But its a good training for me, well, for future preparation!

Wooo i love this song man! Riding

They see me rollin’
They hatin’
Patrollin’
And tryin. to catch me ridin. dirty.
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty.
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty.
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty.
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty.
My music so loud;
I’m swangin’.
They hopin’
That they don’t catch me ridin’ dirty.
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty.
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty.
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty.
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty.

Okie only this part! LOL.

RuBy~

It sad when you know someone you love lies to you, and kept you in the dark for a long time, though you already somehow know what the hell is going on, because you respect that person so much so that you don’t want to rake it up. But there is a limit to everything. Well, since you got whatever the hell you wanted, so be it. I’m so tired. Being lied to so many times. This is definitely one thing no one can stand.  The image that you used to portray in me was a kind and good hearted man. Yeah you still are, but i hate that part of you. You know i hate being lied to. I never lied to you. I cannot understand the fact of how you can bring yourself to do these things to hurt me and yet tell me other things. I really don’t want to use that word. But I’m totally blurred out by your actions. The image is slowly fading. Good, that’s what you want. You had to let me find out all by myself. I could have been stupid enough to even trust you, have faith in you. At least, i know i didn’t let you down in that way. You made plans, kept it away from me, i should have knew. Do you even know why i had to go, all you care was don’t want me to go, have you even though of the reason why? Its okie, since you are not interested, i wouldn’t say much too. You’ve told me you are not going to be there anymore. So i assume that was why you told me those things. I will just lie to myself again to tell myself nothing happened, I’m glad you are so happy with your new life, with someone you are so head over heels with, willing to do so many things for.When you told me something else. Bless you.

Yeah, it was a great night indeed, hmm, yup drinking is not my forte, well, but i still believe i am a good one despite the fact i was a little heavy. U know, the grinding and dancing releases me loads? I miss you girls. And yup, you are so right, nothing changes. I love you nory. Jing, you’re pretty ( i miss you loads) and ur friend do too.

Hey fab, thankz for the night! Please take care of yourself!Your friends too! You’re been great!

Dearest Sarah (my bitch hehe), Nat, Bunzzzz, and last but not least, Ray Ray…
You people have been great, being by my side all this while, not leaving me to rot my way through.. I’m so blessed to have u all in my life. Its my fortune. And i sincerely thank God for this wonderful gift.

To this wonderful person who taught me things i’ve never knew, gave me her time despite the fact that she’s busy. I learned alot from her, went to bintan trip with me, Jenny, thanks for everything. Although we’ve known each other for like 6 months only, but you’ve opened my eyes to a lot of things. God bless this friendship!

Hey to my laoshi, well, my friend, Jacob =) thanks for teaching me guitar, I’ll work double hard heheheh =)

Although i know i shouldn’t be thinking about it anymore, but i still pray that nothing will happen to him. Dear God, i pray for double protection over him when he’s out doing dangerous stuffs, look after him when he’s sick, make sure he eats his medicine accurately, cool his temper down. I miss you, tootie, everything of you.

Dear God, i hope i’m not greedy just yet, i pray that you’ll look after his family and mine too. =)

Dumbass…

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere

I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Hmmm, should go for a holiday, take a break from everything, stressed. It sad when you know someone is lying to you and when you know the truth. Its really heart breaking. Well, guess is the word sway loh. Feel like going to that place alone. At least, off my phoney, no one to disturb me, good. Stay away from lies and hurts. Oh well. At least, i’m brave to face it, and not hide from past reflections. Alright, after exams, I’ll go ahead with my plan that i had initially planned for him. But now alone. Haha, i hope i wouldn’t get rob. lol! Should search for the cheapest price now, don’t have to think about other party’s needs or wants, its myself now. I’m not fussy with things at least. Ooo , lost 6 kg, good. At least it will be better when i go there. lol

Do you believe in karma? Or do you believe what goes around comes around? Funny how life is and how life works? Is there such a thing where you are punished for doing something that you are not supposed to do and yet still did it? You know what, funny how it seems, i believe, i went through it, i got my punishment. It was an early one, perhaps God wants me to see, open my eyes bigger. Its madness, some comes in the later part of life, and some comes earlier. Hey to all peeps out there, bear this in mind, to those who care about their life, always think before you do something, be it a good thing or bad thing, I know i’m being naive, start to think that all the good people are always being punished for the shit of what bad people do. But there is such a thing call justice. Dear God, i’m thankful that you’ve brought wonderful people in my life, i’m blessed, and you’ve opened my eyes to see what is right and what is wrong. I made several mistakes in my life, and i strongly believe i already paid a high price for it. I’m no longer that blur and silly girl to be cheated around the clock. I’m neither stupid nor blind. I have eyes to see for myself. It may be a blessing in disguise. I didn’t know i could come this far. I’m proud to say this, i’m glad i’m able to take all these shit. I’m amazed myself. Thanks to the people (you know who you people are) who truly cares and love me for who i am. To those who treated me like shit, its okie, God will see for me and do what its supposed to be done.

To my most wanted tootie,

I miss the days when you held my hand walking in the park, whispering into my ears. First met in retailing class, you wrote that short little poem that you came up with within minutes. Brought me to so many places that i’ve never been before. Force me to eat things that i’m afraid of, handle my fear of cats. Brought me to Kota Tingi, I miss the days when i have to take the toothbrushes and towels, wash the car together and playing with the foam. Seeing your silly smiling face while sleeping, stealing the king size comforter from each other, and your grinding teeth, your big nose making lots of noise. I miss touching you. I don’t know what else to write, because we have so many things that we did together.

From your dumbass.